By Sumaya Seedat
Louise Hay and Heal Your Life
Heal Your Life; a self-help movement was first founded by Louise Hay, a woman who has inspired millions to “create more of what they want in their lives”¹. The concept of Heal Your Life encourages a person to undertake a journey of self- reflection and inner healing, and to rid themselves of any emotional baggage. Louise Hay was recently dubbed the “closest thing to a living saint”¹. Having been through many setbacks of her own, including a turbulent childhood of abuse, a divorce after fourteen years of marriage as well as fighting cancer, Louise’s application of Heal Your Life to her own life has been a success. She now heads Hayhouse, a successful publishing company.
Recently I attended a local workshop hosted by Fatima Seedat a Heal Your Life, life coach, who after facing her own set of emotional challenges undertook this self-help journey as well. Being a sceptic of self-help movements myself, I attended this workshop rather reluctantly. I have always been an ardent believer in communication as a tool for resolving all conflict. Other than that, there was no way forward.
With very little faith, I began the workshop. As a starting point all attendees had to introduce themselves and state what it was that they wanted to achieve from this process. Whilst many others voiced their main objective as making peace with a significant loved one be it their mother, sibling, spouse or an ex-spouse, I was surprised to learn that I needed to make peace with myself. As I stood up to introduce myself I realized that the problem lied within me.
Perhaps, I considered, this workshop would bring me some inner peace or understanding. As the day progressed, I began to understand what the ideology behind Heal Your Life was. It wasn’t simply about communication or getting rid of emotional baggage. I learnt that in life we are exposed to many different types of relationships. We have relationships with our parents, children, spouses, in-laws, colleagues and even mere acquaintances. However, the most potentially damaging relationships are that between us and a spouse or a parent.
The Heal Your Life workshop taught me how to manage an argument in a more effective and less hurtful way. It is important when arguing, to take into consideration the feelings of the other party. This does not mean that we ignore our own feelings though. In fact, effective communication can often alter the outcome of an argument that otherwise could escalate into something much worse. For instance, your spouse works the whole week and does not spend any time with you during the weekend. Instead of blaming him or her, change the way you approach the subject. You could choose to say: “I feel that we do not spend enough time together and I would like it very much if we could because I enjoy spending time with you”
Important for self-help and healing are Affirmations. Affirmations are something we should make a habit of using. They are positive sentences that we want for ourselves and by constantly saying it or scribbling it down somewhere and looking and visualizing it often, we can work towards achieving it. Examples of affirmations are: `I am beautiful`, `I am worthy of love`, `I can love`, `I am successful`, and `I will beat this disease’ and so on. Affirming simply means that we remove all negativity from within our body and mind and replace it with positivity. Associate with positivity as often as possible and remove toxic situations and people from your life to truly feel an inner change.
The Five Love Languages
Hand in hand with the Heal Your Life programme, is the well-known Love Languages by author Gary Chapman². The book explores five love languages that should be used in marriages in order to make them succeed. The crux of the book is as follows: Many of us expect to be loved in the way that we give or show love. Often, we don’t realize that everyone has a different love language and will show love in a different way. If we look deeper, even a smile is a gesture of love. The five languages of love are:
- Words Of Affirmation: When you hear words such as ‘you are worthy’, ‘you are beautiful’, ‘you make me happy’, ‘I love you’, ‘We can get through this’.
- Quality Time: When someone wants to spend time with you and is not concerned with the situation or circumstance.
- Receiving Gifts: When a person showers you with gifts.
- Acts Of Service: When a person takes great effort in assisting you to make your day easier.
- Physical Touch: A hug, a kiss or even a stroke is a way of showing love. The five languages must be understood and can be the key to rescuing and maintaining a relationship.
Heal Your Life!
Heal Your Life takes a person back to the root of the problem by confronting a person, trying to understand what happened, or even completely cutting ties and getting rid of the problem, . A good start to ridding yourself of the hurt caused by a negative relationship that’s holding you back in life is to write a letter to the person who has hurt you, venting your feelings and mentioning what you think could be a way forward. Write and vent, but do not post the letter. Burn it instead- Burn up your anger…
Brief Interview with Life Coach Fatima Seedat
I asked life coach Fatima Seedat a few questions at the end of the workshop to help me understand her journey:
What inspired you to be a Heal Your Life Coach?
I was introduced to Louise Hay by my aunt and I was interested about learning more about this phenomenal woman, so much so that I purchased her book You Can Heal Your Life which is all about illnesses being manifested by holding onto old emotions. You can heal yourself just by changing negative thoughts into positive thoughts.
Has this approach helped you in a personal way?
Yes. I was afforded the opportunity of attending a Heal Your Life workshop which I did with my daughter who was fourteen years old at the time. At that stage in my life I was experiencing disharmony with my children and my marriage was falling apart. Besides turning to God, I knew that I had to do something for myself. I underwent a lot of forgiving and letting go processes. It is vitally important not to hold onto old thought patterns and beliefs. I then started manifesting the life that I wanted. I studied to become a life coach and it has helped me assist my clients and more importantly, myself.
What type of workshops do life coaches host?
Workshops vary from client to client and depend on what they want to achieve, whether it be life enrichment, increased self-esteem, harmonious relationships, assistance with communication, or even just looking for joy, courage and purpose. Your life is an expression of your own mind.